To all those who have moved away from home even for a short period of time, I congratulate you. To all those who have really had to figure things out for themselves, I commend you. To all those who have battled their own being in deciding whether to stick it out or go back home where life is a little easier, I feel for you.
But to those who are still close to the ones you love, I envy you. Love transcends many boundaries be it cultural or geographical. To forget or take for granted those around you when you live so close is the biggest travesty. Perhaps that is part of the reason why I wanted to move so far. This way I can cherish those around me. What a wonderful and tragic paradox!
The teacher sitting next to me, Bae Jin-suk, told me when she was in London with her husband for a while she cried and called her parents all the time. Then she asked me, "Do you miss your family and friends?" --"Yes, very much so." And then I got really quiet and we just stared at each other for a minute. Then I felt in the back of my throat a tightness. She handed me a tissue and said, "My heart hurts for you." What a beautiful thing to say.
Later that day, Kim Shin-suk drove me home and before I left the car she said, "I heard you cried today." (wow news travels fast)
--"Ummm (looking away) Yes I did."
--"I cry too."
I'm not sure if she meant that she cried for me or she cries in general. Either way it was strangely comforting.
Footsteps... I remember going to college, when at the age of 18, I set off to Los Angeles.
ReplyDeleteOther than a few nights stay in the hospital (for a six-inch nail through my hand at five years old), I had not been away from home, other than for camping trips in the Catskills in upstate NY. I remember on the car ride to JFK, college-bound, heading 3,000 miles away to USC, not having visited, not having seen its campus. Looking out at the moon-lit sky, I could hear Elton John on the radio, singing "Daniel" and the lyrics "Daniel is leaving tonight on a plane". I was about to embark on my first plane ride! Homesick for many months, I despised L.A., thinking how much easier life was on the NYC subways. As a kid I could hop on the trains and go to the beaches in Brooklyn, go fishing at Sheepshead Bay, or enjoy the rides and fireworks at Coney Island. Change is hard to do. But as I made friends I soon enjoyed the world of sunny Southern California. Tee-shirt and shorts in December - aaah, the life! So enjoy your latest journey, Sam. And know full well, that I, and I'm sure your extended family, and your friends, love you, miss you, and wish you all the best! - Dad