Vagina Monologues

"My vagina's angry. It is. It's pissed off. My vagina's furious and it needs to talk. It needs to talk about all is sh*t. It needs to talk to you..."

So, there you have it. It needs to talk. The performance went well and spirits were high. The light was definitely blinding. It was like you were talking to yourself, which is always fantastic. What a crazy sensation. You are speaking and people are laughing, but you can't see them.

"Props...I love props..." - this was a fellow vagina speaking. It was at this moment that we had to actually throw props on stage. I told my Korean co-teacher, "when she says this, throw the things that are near your shoes." She gave me and understanding nod. To be sure I grabbed her arm and said, "NOW!" when it was our turn to give flight to objects of pleasure. There was red bondage tape, a leather strap, chains, lubricant, a dildo, and a older Korean woman's red platform shoe!! What?! All vagina's started laughing as they spotted the rather odd "prop" on stage. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. There was my 46 year old Korean teacher with a flaming red wig and only one shoe. One of the audience members came up to us after the show and said it was hilarious to see a Korean woman's platform shoe literally thrown into the category of "props".

Shin-suk..Mrs. Kim...You are a rockstar.

Hiking rockstars

It's been about 6 months. You would think the newness of the country would wear off by now. Nope! Just the other day a group of friends and I were hiking near a university close to my house. Halfway through our journey we had to make a pitstop. There was a Korean couple taking in the view and eating some rice cakes.

Something indestinguishable came out of the woman's mouth. Then she pointed to her sack of rice cakes. I didn't need a translator to tell me what she was hinting at. "Of course I will try some of your delicious rice cake," I replied. "Oh please, just one. My friends and I will share."

The four of us passed around a piece of 숙떡 (the rice cake) carefully nibbling since there was a lose powder covering the outside. "Yumm mmmm uhhh," were a few of the replies. We thanked our food gods, aka the Korean couple, and kept it moving.

As we finished the hike, three of us were on our way to my apartment. Before we could even leave the university campus area we spotted some Korean businessmen that had taken a liking to us. It was quite obvious. They slowed their pace down enormously. Then one of them turned around and sort of screamed, "Where are you from!?" "The US," we all said. Then another sort of scream, "What state?!" "Florida," said one of my friends closest to the man. The answer didn't register. The scream became louder and quicker, "What STATE?!" "Florida." "Ahhh, Flo-ri-DA".

Next thing you know these guys whip out their cameras. I knew it! I knew these salary men were secretly paparazzi. They asked to take a picture with us. We looked at each other unknowingly, then shrugged our shoulders. "Sure, why not?" We grouped together. We, the foreigners, were in the middle and all the Korean business men were flanking us. Another fellow hiker was passing by. Someone flagged him down so every single person could be in the picture. "Hana, dul, set! KIMCHI". Bam... then it was over.

"I will never see you again?" the main speaker stated, but really asked. "Yes, never again," we all replied. What a great way to end a conversation. "찰 가세요." "네."