Monday, June 13, 2011

Make me look more sick!!

Insurance fraud...maybe. I'm not really sure what's going on under the surface, but the second day of my hospital experience is like this...

(this took place all in Korean with a few English words mixed in, but I'll write most of it in English here)

게장님 (Gah-jang-nim): You need to say your body hurts everywhere when the insurance guy comes. Do you understand? No Korean, just English!
ME: Yea I got it.
게장님: Ok. You should also get a needle in your arm and a drip to help you with you pain.
Me: But I don't like needles and I don't need a drip for my pain. The pills are fine.
게장님: Yes, the pills are fine, but with a drip you won't need to take the pills. And it will look better if you have a drip when the insurance guy comes. You need to be hurt. You need to look hurt.
Me: I am hurt! I have bruises, isn't that enough. I hate needles.

3 minutes later... I acquiesce unwillingly. Next, the nurse comes in with the needle. There is a shocked, sad look on my face to give away my unwilling participation and my moral defeat. I whine while she sticks me with the needle.

Nurse: Oh, I can't seem to find the vein
Me: WAAAhhhh... why? 왜애애애애애.
Nurse: Let me try one more time.
Me: OWWWWW
Nurse: Well, that's not working. Hrm.

The nurse calls another nurse in and 게장님 is laughing at this whole ordeal even though it's his fault.

Other nurse: Oh let me see.
Me: No, the other lady stuck me two times in this arm. Try the other arm damn it!
Other nurse: Ok, hrm. I can't really see a good vein, but let's try this one.
Me: AHHHHHH
Other nurse: There. I got it. Does it hurt? Oh, start the drip.
Me: Ahhh, it hurts. Why is there a little blood coming back into the tube?

They have already left and set the drip in motion. I don't move my arm and ponder why I am doing this. My moral conscience comes back after the drip is done. The nurse pulls the main needle out of my arm and leaves the other one in. 10 minutes later, I get angry at my decision and say "enough is enough". I rip out the remaining needle and throw it in a paper cup.

10 minutes later...

The nurse comes back in brandishing the needle I pulled out. And without words shows it to me. I just nod and say, "Yes, I did it. 주사 싫어요!" And the problem is solved. She tries one last attempt and comes in with a needle to help the pain my hip; a pain I don't have. I just say again, "주사 싫어요!" The matter is now fully settled.

Sometimes you just have to do the right thing. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to lie down in my private room where I must rest for 5 more days with my computer and guitar to keep me company. Remember...do the right thing ;)

Friday, June 10, 2011

Sneaking out of the hospital


So I got hit by a taxi while riding my bike...I'm in the hospital overnight for a time undetermined at the moment so I have to amuse myself somehow, right?

Luckily, Sacheon is small and it is very convenient to stop by the hospital, which is right near the intercity bus terminal. Yuri and Seb came to my room and had dinner with me; an assortment of friend chicken, noodles, and fried rice. MMMmmm. I wanted to get outside so we decided to take a walk. I undressed from my flashy hospital attire. And since there was no one on watch we slipped out the back door.

Just as we came out we see other friends eating dinner (Sacheon is really small and foreigners really stand out). I told them I'd be back. I walked to a motel to check out a room with a jacuzzi inside. It's only 55,000won a night! Jacuzzi with a TV in the bathroom, a huge bed with another huge big screen TV to match and hilarious people on the walls dressed as if they were going to a masquerade ball. Realizing I couldn't actually spend the night outside of the hospital, I left the motel to wander back to the restaurant right next to my "hotelospital".

My friends were still there eating and drinking makkolli to excess (since it was homemade). I chitchatted and ate some food. We finished around 11pm and I wanted to show them my humble abode in the "hotelospital".

We snuck up the stairs where I slipped out previously only to find it locked! The panic I felt. I had to hobble down the stairs again to find the front door also locked! SHIT. Am I going to have to call the hospital to tell them to let me in? Then I saw an elevator. #2 here we come. I thought I had been successful, only to find that the entrance from the elevator was barred. The nurse had to open it with her key. Hoping she didn't notice me, the patient, among the pack of other foreigners I darted for my room, 200.

No one noticed....