Vagina Monologues

"My vagina's angry. It is. It's pissed off. My vagina's furious and it needs to talk. It needs to talk about all is sh*t. It needs to talk to you..."

So, there you have it. It needs to talk. The performance went well and spirits were high. The light was definitely blinding. It was like you were talking to yourself, which is always fantastic. What a crazy sensation. You are speaking and people are laughing, but you can't see them.

"Props...I love props..." - this was a fellow vagina speaking. It was at this moment that we had to actually throw props on stage. I told my Korean co-teacher, "when she says this, throw the things that are near your shoes." She gave me and understanding nod. To be sure I grabbed her arm and said, "NOW!" when it was our turn to give flight to objects of pleasure. There was red bondage tape, a leather strap, chains, lubricant, a dildo, and a older Korean woman's red platform shoe!! What?! All vagina's started laughing as they spotted the rather odd "prop" on stage. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. There was my 46 year old Korean teacher with a flaming red wig and only one shoe. One of the audience members came up to us after the show and said it was hilarious to see a Korean woman's platform shoe literally thrown into the category of "props".

Shin-suk..Mrs. Kim...You are a rockstar.

Hiking rockstars

It's been about 6 months. You would think the newness of the country would wear off by now. Nope! Just the other day a group of friends and I were hiking near a university close to my house. Halfway through our journey we had to make a pitstop. There was a Korean couple taking in the view and eating some rice cakes.

Something indestinguishable came out of the woman's mouth. Then she pointed to her sack of rice cakes. I didn't need a translator to tell me what she was hinting at. "Of course I will try some of your delicious rice cake," I replied. "Oh please, just one. My friends and I will share."

The four of us passed around a piece of 숙떡 (the rice cake) carefully nibbling since there was a lose powder covering the outside. "Yumm mmmm uhhh," were a few of the replies. We thanked our food gods, aka the Korean couple, and kept it moving.

As we finished the hike, three of us were on our way to my apartment. Before we could even leave the university campus area we spotted some Korean businessmen that had taken a liking to us. It was quite obvious. They slowed their pace down enormously. Then one of them turned around and sort of screamed, "Where are you from!?" "The US," we all said. Then another sort of scream, "What state?!" "Florida," said one of my friends closest to the man. The answer didn't register. The scream became louder and quicker, "What STATE?!" "Florida." "Ahhh, Flo-ri-DA".

Next thing you know these guys whip out their cameras. I knew it! I knew these salary men were secretly paparazzi. They asked to take a picture with us. We looked at each other unknowingly, then shrugged our shoulders. "Sure, why not?" We grouped together. We, the foreigners, were in the middle and all the Korean business men were flanking us. Another fellow hiker was passing by. Someone flagged him down so every single person could be in the picture. "Hana, dul, set! KIMCHI". Bam... then it was over.

"I will never see you again?" the main speaker stated, but really asked. "Yes, never again," we all replied. What a great way to end a conversation. "찰 가세요." "네."

Love Motels

Did I get the cream of the crop or what? This is one of the love motels in Korea. Usually people call any motel a love motel. I was in Busan one night and ended up staying later than I thought and needed a place to sleep. The next bus wasn't until 6 am.

I walked around the area I was in and chose the first motel I saw. I got a toothbrush and a razor when I checked in. When I stepped into my room, I jumped for joy. My first heart shaped bed! Well the mirror was heart shaped and the light shade (crazy right!). The actual bed was round, but who cares about those minor details. I had an assortment of hair products and lotions to choose from. The bathroom was also stocked with shampoo and conditioner. I'm not talking about the little packets they give you. They had Costco-sized bottles. The real deal. The idea is that everyone shares. They may wear masks when they are sick, but it's ok to share lotion and shampoo that has been used by other people I never met.

I never thought I could go to a motel and come out looking better than when I came in. The bed is not soft. It's hard with a really thin white mat. It's like your sleeping on the floor. But how could you sleep when you can stare at yourself in the cool heart shaped mirror?

Oh, and did I mention what you could purchase for a mere $10? Take a look.

How to eat Sya-beu Sya-beu (샤브샤브)+Kuk-su+BeokeumBap

해물샤브샤브 + 국수 + 버금밥- (seafood syabeu syabeu + guk-su + beokeumbap)
Pre-step: order and when the food comes revel in it's freshness. We had some beef, octopus, clams, and shrimp. The veggies were a medley of mushrooms, cabbage, and some other green stuff.

Step1: Make sure the brother is hot. Proceed to cut the vegetables to bite sizes and throw them in the soup. Add the seafood as you see fit. Then dip the beef in until cooked (1-2 min).

Step 2: After finishing the soup, move on to round 2. the noodles. Oh, these are so good. The soup broth is a little spicy. When you put the noodles in, wait for 5-6 minutes or until cooked the way you like. Lower the heat

Step 3: Scream "Yogio!" because now it's time for 복음밥 or fried rice. The waitress scoops out any remaining noodles and the sauce. Then she adds rice and raw egg. There's some scallion and a little bit of carrot too. She mixes everything together with a spoon and spatula. After, she just uses the spoon to smooth the rice in the pot. This is when it becomes 'fried'. When she's done we turn off the flame and use the spoon to scrap the rice off of the pot. MMM massitsoyo. Delicious!

Being Scared

Not me. I'm not scared. It's my Korean co-teacher. Actually all of them. In my program, EPIK, it specifies that we should co-teach. This way the students will hear two voices instead of just one in the classroom. Well, the way it usually goes is like this: I teach the entire 45 minutes. The Korean co-teacher will translate what the kids don't understand and help with discipline. I'm trying to integrate them because I know it has to be boring for them.

-"선생님 (literally means teacher) do you want to present the first four slides of the lecture?"

- "No, I enjoy my free-time. The students want to listen to you. Don't worry about me."

see how the self-sacrifice has a little bit of selfishness sprinkled in? haha. I don't want to speak ill of my co-teacher, but that's what she said.

-"선생님 (teacher) it has to be boring. Besides I think you should. It is good to hear two voices."

-"Well ok, maybe next class then."

HA! I got her. Did you see that? I just have to push a little.

I did this with another teacher, one who I am closer with. She jumped on the opportunity. When she was presenting I could see she was a little nervous, but she did well. All it takes is a little practice. I even saw her doing some of my gestures. It was really flattering. I know my co-teachers will find their voice soon. So, maybe I won't have to do as much work... It's a little bit of self-sacrifice with a bit of selfishness sprinkled in. But don't tell anyone ;)

Bar or Videogames...Videogames!!

The decision is simple really.

Why go to a bar when you can have endless fun in a PC Bang? These PC Bangs vary in size, but are always going to offer at least one game you want to play. Look how wrapped up Nebi is. I think he thinks he is really there. Look at the raw emotion on his face!

You know you are dedicated when you play through the pain. Your shoulders starts to hurt first from hunching over. Then your trigger finger from shooting. Next you know you are leaning your elbows on any available space while still trying to kill those bastards with guns on the screen. It's a hard job, but somebody's got to do it.

Putting Kids to Work

At the end of the day it's not the janitor that cleans up, the kids are the ones to work. Everything from watering the plants to taking out the garbage in the bathroom. The kids take shifts every week. They even help the lunch ladies serve lunch. They dress up in full gear too. They have gloves, a face mask, and a hair net. It's quite amazing.

In the teacher's room, they sweep, empty everyone's personal trash cans, wash dishes and vacuum. Yes, they vacuum. Don't you wish you were the janitor in this school? You wouldn't have to do anything! Maybe fix a light bulb and turn on the heat at the beginning of the day. That's it!